Grunk Dina
- Face planting off the side of a truck…. Check.
- Wandering into the woods to pee, coming back with sticks and leaves and dirt all over me and in my hair…. Check.
- When asked where my bandana went, respond with “I gave it up for a life changing experience” on this particular peeing in the woods adventure…. Check. (I lost it)
- Not seeing clearly in the dark and using my best pick up lines on a tree… Check. (It was a handsome tree! SHUT UP!)
- Getting a group of 30+ people to sing “Bohemian Rhapsody” with me… Check.
- Walking across a campfire several times and miraculously managing to not burn myself…. Check.
- Managing to drink bourbon whiskey all day from breakfast and only becoming truly drunk after the sun sets (woowee, what a tolerance)…. Check.
- Vomiting into above stated campfire…. Check.
- Being so desperate for a chaser that we mix Tang with Bourbon…. Check.
- Making up big fancy words in an attempt to sound intelligent…. Check.
Attributes of a Grunk Dina.
No, I’m not an alcoholic. I have a long way to go before I wake up with the shakes or puke blood in the morning because of a lack of alcohol in my system (I have met a girl like that, it isnt pretty).
I am sure plenty of people accuse me of being an alcoholic. Let me assure you one thing. I do NOT drink every day. Matter of fact, I usually only drink on the weekends or when I’m with people who are drinking. Alcoholics drink all the time, and they drink alone as well as socially. I hate drinking alone, it makes me feel like a depressed old trailor park man.
Nor do I even drink enough to be considered a drunk. I have a tolerance that makes getting drunk usually a difficult task. I generally run out of money before that happens and have to be satisfied with just a good buzz.
So for those of you asshats who call me a drunk or an alcoholic, you have yet to drink with me. You have yet to see that I dont get sick if I’m not drinking, and you have yet to see that I can actually maintain my alcohol and that I need to be drinking quickly and heavily to actually become this drunk that you proclaim me to be.
On the other hand, I am a very entertaining drunk, if I do say so myself… And I do say so! So do many others.
On a side note, Bourbon whiskey tends to make me lose my voice.
And I have sworn off all beers that end in the word “Ice.” That shit is the worst EVER. That’s just chemical asshattery that makes you feel like crap in the morning, even if you didnt get drunk. ICE BEER SUCKS!!
