I recently went through my things and found some old writings. This must have been a class assignment. It was titled “My Weakness”. I have no recollection of writing this.
And if it isn’t apparent enough…I had an eating disorder and I was obsessed with Duran Duran. I was probably 15 when I wrote this.

***

I thought that meeting Simon LeBon would be the greatest thing that could ever happen to me. Was I ever wrong! Actually, it wasn’t all bad.

We met in Paris. I was sitting down by a water fountain and he just came over to me and introduced himself. We talked a bit and then he offered me a candy bar. I couldn’t accept it because I was on a diet and I told him so. He then told me about this, “NEW NO CALORIE FOOD COMPANY” I asked him what it was and he said that it’s a new food company that makes delicious no calorie food. I told him I didn’t believe it and he swore on his life so I accepted the candy bar. I ate it with no guilt. Then he gave me the address to the company. I then went there to see for myself what he was talking about.

I opened the door and I saw tons of mouth watering “fattening” food. There were various ice creams, cookies and cakes, tacos, hamburgers, French fries and chicken McNuggets. I was freaking out. Above all of these foods I saw a sign stating that all of the foods were calorie free. I was so gullible that I started eating everything in sight. I had not one feeling of guilt. It was wonderful. I did this for a week straight. Non-stop. I then grew tired and I thought I would take a bath and go to bed. (As soon as I got home, that is.)

Anyway, I filled the tub with nice, soothing water and tried to get in but something was wrong. I didn’t fit. I tried with all my might but it didn’t work. I thought, “I couldn’t have gained any weight”. So, I stepped on the scale confirm to it to myself but to much of my surprise, the scale broke. I went into hysterics. My pants split and my shirt too. I must’ve weighed 500 pounds. I went to the doctor and he said that there was no way possible to lose the excess weight. Since I couldn’t do anything about my condition I thought I’d get Simon back since he tricked me. So I went to his house and sat on him.