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Home Page > Home and Family > Men Who Cheat in Love Relationships – What are the Reasons Men Cheat?

Men Who Cheat in Love Relationships – What are the Reasons Men Cheat?

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Men who cheat in love relationships often have more than one reason why they do it. This leaves women everywhere wanting to know what those reasons are. It is never justified, whether you are a man or a woman, but it does happen and knowing why can help avoid this problem in the future.

Here are some of the reasons why men cheat.

Men who cheat in love relationships may cheat for one of these different reasons.

One: Sometimes old habits die hard or not at all.

When a man cheats in one relationship than there is more of a chance that they will in any other relationship they have. Some men are addicted to cheating and they just can’t control themselves. They may get married, or try a relationship, but in the end it never works because men who cheat cannot help themselves.

Two: Another reason man she is loss of attraction to their partner.

Even if you’re married, this can happen at any time. Sometimes men tend to lose their attraction to their wife and they start looking elsewhere. They do not want out of the relationship altogether, but they tend to cheat because they have lost the attraction.

Three: Constant nagging from their woman is another big reason why men cheat.

This could be for revenge against a wife or girlfriend after they have been nagged or after an argument. This reason for cheating basically deals with the emotional connection that the man is not getting at home from their wife or girlfriend, so they start looking somewhere else for it.

Four: The most obvious reason men cheat is because of sex or lack of it.

Men can get bored easily if a woman is not willing to spice up their sex life and then a man will start looking for what they want from someone else. They will definitely start looking elsewhere when you are not giving your man what he wants.

These are not the only reasons men cheat but they are the most common ones. Men who cheat in relationships will always be something that women are wary of. Knowing why men cheat will help you be able to avoid most men who cheat but not always. Just remember that if a man does cheat, you will have to decide if they are worth fighting for or if you should just walk away and move on.

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Carol King -
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Carol King is law of attraction expert and founder of Missing Ingredient Coaching

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Does age matter in a love relationship ?
How do u go from being into a relationship and then having her break up with but still feel the same and love u, so my question is how do i get her back?
I had a good relationship until my boyfriend starting doing drugs then thats when the cheating and abuse started now he’s been clean for almost a year. will he still cheat and abuse me?

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Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Forgive You – Make Your Ex Love You Again

admin — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 06:56:25 +0000

Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Forgive You – Make Your Ex Love You Again

Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Forgive You – Make Your Ex Love You Again

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Home Page > Relationships > Breakup > Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Forgive You – Make Your Ex Love You Again

Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Forgive You – Make Your Ex Love You Again

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When a breakup occurs, the tendency is to put the blame on the other person even though you know that it was yourself that was more to blame than your ex boyfriend. It’s hard to face up to this fact, but if you realize we all make mistakes, it’s much easier to do. Instead of placing the blame you should be thinking of ways to make things right again. The best way to do this is to look at what happened from the viewpoint of your ex boyfriend.

Depending on what you did will determine your method of making up. If you simply said something that hurt his feelings the process of getting your ex back should not be too difficult. A sincere apology should be enough to get your relationship back on the right track. If you cheated on him with another man it won’t be so easy. If cheating was the cause, he is no doubt hurt, angry and very disappointed in you. He feels betrayed and you will have to regain his respect and trust.

At this time your ex boyfriend is hurt and angry and he doesn’t want anything to do with you. But time is a great healer and if you give him the space and time he will see that he still loves you and will forgive your mistake.

The best thing you can do at the present time is to stay away from him. You could send him an email or text and apologize for your mistake but nothing else. Don’t go crowding him and expect your ex to just say ‘well, alright, just don’t do it again’. That won’t happen. He needs to think things through and get over his initial anger and hurt. If he really loves you and wants a life with you, he will remember the good things about you and the hurt and anger will fade away.

If you were having an affair with someone, you will have to prove to your ex boyfriend that it has ended. The best way to get him to forgive you and be able to trust you again is to prove you have changed.

You can get back with your ex boyfriend. Relationships are mended everyday, but it will take some time and patience for you to regain his trust and respect.

Retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/getting-your-ex-boyfriend-to-forgive-you-make-your-ex-love-you-again-1263781.html”

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Making bad mistakes can ruin your relationship for good. In order to avoid these fatal mistakes a woman needs to take some proven steps if she wants to get her ex boyfriend back and keep him. What you should and shouldn’t do can be found at this Helpful Site.

No matter what happens if you believe this is the man for you, don’t give up. Fortunately there are proven methods here you can use that will make him love you like never before.

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My friend wants to know if her ex still cares for her. What should I text her ex-boyfriend? Please help cos I can’t seem to help
I really miss my ex and love him alot. but im dating some1 else. but i love my ex more. what must i do?
I had broken with my boyfriend.we were best of freinds but it turned out to be love.now i dont know how to patch because the is very egoistic.though i have aplogised once,it makes no difference.help

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getting your ex boyfriend to forgive you, win back love, make him love you again, get your ex back

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Detailed Tips Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Keep Him Guessing With An Ancient Love Dance!

admin — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 11:01:39 +0000

Detailed Tips Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Keep Him Guessing With An Ancient Love Dance!

Detailed Tips Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Keep Him Guessing With An Ancient Love Dance!

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Home Page > Relationships > Breakup > Detailed Tips Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Keep Him Guessing With An Ancient Love Dance!

Detailed Tips Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Keep Him Guessing With An Ancient Love Dance!

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Wondering where to turn when your relationship has broken down? How to get your love back may be all you can think of but there are a lot of mistakes you can make in this minefield so read how to avoid them.

What if you could recapture your ex lovers mind heart and soul?Wipe the slate clean? Turn back time? Even if you feel right now that your situation is too far gone… too screwed up… or just plain too darn complicated?

Can you win your ex back? Absolutely! Make your ex feel as if they have made the biggest mistake of their life leaving you. Win your ex back using proven methods that will leave your ex unable to resist you >> Click here now >>

This article provides readers with ideas on how to get your spouse back after you’ve cheated. It includes some ideas like apologizing showing him you’re serious and showing him what he’s missing.

If you and your ex have split ways recently you need to know you can still get them back if you want. The first step is getting educated on the real secrets to getting your ex back.

A lot of people who have experienced break up are wondering what are the guaranteed ways to get an ex back. In general there could be a million of ways to do that but it needs right execution and proper timing. Aside from that it will also depend on the situation and why you and your ex broke up.

The amazing thing about the no contact rule is that it works every time. In fact it is almost impossible to get your ex back without using it. Yet many women do not use it in their attempt to make their ex boyfriend love them again. Learn why it can be the most effective tactic to get your ex boyfriend back.

It can be difficult enough to get your ex boyfriend back when he was the one who broke things off. But what if you were the one who broke up with him and now you realize you made a mistake? Worse yet what if you broke up with your boyfriend for all the wrong reasons? Maybe you wrongly believed that he had cheated on you for instance or someone told you something about him that wasn’t true?

Having a chance at getting your ex back involves the first most critical step of getting your ex to return your phone calls or text messages. Once you’ve accomplished this step getting your ex back is possible and even probable using the right relationship rebuilding tactics. Try the following tip to get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to return your calls or text messages. It works almost every time!

Retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/breakup-articles/detailed-tips-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-keep-him-guessing-with-an-ancient-love-dance-3172153.html”

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My friend wants to know if her ex still cares for her. What should I text her ex-boyfriend? Please help cos I can’t seem to help
I have recently grown very fond of my ex-boyfriends step brother. I think he likes me, but he won’t say so because he thinks I dont like him that way. Is this a territiory i shouldnt enter?
I want to meet with my ex boyfriend. What should i say to him or do for him to want me back

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fastest way get back with ex boyfriend plus, guaranteed advice on how to get your ex back and topics on, guaranteed how to overcome a breakup

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How Do I Tell My Husband I Still Love Him After His Cheating But Am Afraid He’ll Cheat Again?

admin — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 23:11:59 +0000

How Do I Tell My Husband I Still Love Him After His Cheating But Am Afraid He’ll Cheat Again?

How Do I Tell My Husband I Still Love Him After His Cheating But Am Afraid He’ll Cheat Again?

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How Do I Tell My Husband I Still Love Him After His Cheating But Am Afraid He’ll Cheat Again?

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I recently heard from a wife who very much wanted to save her marriage after her husband had briefly been unfaithful. That’s not to say that she wasn’t devastated, struggling, or angry. She was all of these things. And, she was very reluctant to place her heart and her trust on the line again when this might have meant risking him cheating on her once more sometime in the future. And, these fears were really weighing on her and keeping her from really moving forward. She felt that she could not (and would not) ever go through this again. And these concerns made her somewhat reluctant to even try to save the marriage for fear of disappointment and more pain.

She wanted to somehow tell or warn her husband that this was going to be his one chance, but she wasn’t sure how to go about this. She worried about how quickly he was driven to cheat when they reached little road bumps in their marriage. With the blink of an eye, he’d made a very unfortunate decision, so what was to stop him from doing it again the next time they struggled? She couldn’t come up with an acceptable answer to this question. And, this is where she kept getting stuck.

Her husband kept asking her for support, acceptance, and reassurance. But, she was having a hard time pretending that she didn’t have any doubts. This was certainly understandable and no one should pretend to be completely on board and without doubts when this isn’t the truth. The husband had placed himself in a position where she was justified in doubting him. She just needed to find the words to express this. I will offer some suggestions in the following article.

The wife in this scenario was making all sorts of apologies and actually felt guilty for her distrust. This is actually very common, which may surprise you. But many times, your reaction to a husband’s affair may not be what how you thought that you might respond. I often hear women say things like: “If my husband ever cheated on me, that would be it. He would never get a second chance.” It’s easy to say this when you aren’t in this situation. But once you are, things can begin to look a bit differently and things may not be as clear as you might have thought.

By no means should the faithful spouse feel guilty for having doubts or for having trust issues. When someone betrays you once, it only makes sense that you are going to doubt them until they prove themselves trustworthy again. And, this just takes some time. You have to view their actions and behaviors for some time to come. It’s not fair for you to be pressured into rushing this process

A Dialog To Tell Your Husband That You Love Him And You Want To Work Things Out After His Cheating, (But That You Have Doubts And Worry That He Will Cheat Again:) Other than the doubts and concerns that the wife had about the husband’s ability to fix this and to be faithful in the future, another huge problem for her was how to communicate her feelings to her husband. Because every time she asked questions or expressed doubts, her husband turned on the water works and began with his apologies and accounts of how much hated himself for putting the marriage at risk.

So, the wife hesitated every time she thought about being honest. But, this really wasn’t getting her anywhere. She needed to be able to release her feelings and this couple was going to need to be able to be honest with one another from this point on. Honestly going forward is one of the things that safeguards your marriage from another affair.

So, I suggested a dialog that went went something like this: “I’m listening to you when you say that love you me, that you want to work things out, and that you will make this up to me. I do appreciate your eagerness to fix this. But, I have to tell you that I’m struggling a bit right now. This is a difficult issue which has made a difficult situation. I’m just going to need some time to sort through this. My taking this time doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or that I’m not committed to our marriage. I am. I can not stress enough how much I want to save the marriage and how much I love you. But, neither of these things mean that I don’t have real concerns moving forward. I need to know that you will never cheat on me again and this is something that is just going to take time. So, please allow me this time and don’t rush or pressure me. I do love you and I am willing to fight for our marriage, but we both have some work to do to address both of our concerns so that we can create a marriage that means we don’t have to worry about this again in the future.”

Of course, these are just suggestions. You know which words are likely to work best for your husband. But basically, you’ve not lashed out or been punishing or mean. You’ve said what you needed to say. You’ve reassured him that you still love him and want to save the marriage. But, you’ve also asked for the time, patience, and reassurances that you need. And, you’ve been honest about your concerns and doubts. Since his mistakes are the reason for this situation, he will usually understand that it’s only fair (and very much in his own best interest) to provide you with what you have asked for.

Once he understands that he needs to be patient and he has some work to do to show you that you can trust him again, then you can begin working on the issues that will safeguard your marriage in the future. Because if you able to address these things, your doubts and worries should lessen.

There was a time when I thought I would never get over my husband’s affair and that I could never trust him again, but this is in the past. Although I never would’ve believed this two years ago, my marriage is stronger. It took a lot of work, and I had to play the game to win, but it was worth it. Because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is at an all time high. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again. You can read a very personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

Retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/how-do-i-tell-my-husband-i-still-love-him-after-his-cheating-but-am-afraid-hell-cheat-again-3963542.html”

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Katie Lersch -
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Katie Lersch writes articles about moving past an affair. Her corresponding blog is at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

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Its a very seru=ious love thing , again kids think im cevil cos of my kid too much klittle money hell) but the lies are insane , i keep lying i guess
Cheating husband. how does this work? and how much would it be?
My husband cheated he says he’s sorry but I don’t believe him. He doesn’t act sorry and still lies. Went to counseling and even lied there. Cheaters like him don’t chnage am I right?

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need to tell husband that he cant cheat again, want to tell husband that i love him but i cant take him cheating again, how to tell him that i still love him but having trouble trusting after cheating, im not sure if i trust him but i still love him

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If He Cheated, Does It Mean He Doesn’t Love His Wife?

admin — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 16:42:49 +0000

If He Cheated, Does It Mean He Doesn’t Love His Wife?

If He Cheated, Does It Mean He Doesn’t Love His Wife?

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If He Cheated, Does It Mean He Doesn’t Love His Wife?

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I hear this question so often. I hear it from wives and I hear it from mistresses. Many wives can not understand how their husbands could look them in the eye and claim to still love them when they have betrayed their marriage vows and cheated with someone else. And, mistresses almost always tend to believe husbands when they claim not to love their wives “in the way that a husband should.” The mistresses believe these claims because they want to, while the wives tend not to believe this, even if it really is true.

What neither the wife or the mistress realize is that the husband often doesn’t know exactly what he’s feeling. If he were completely clear on what he felt and what he stood for, then no one would be in this mess. No, he’s often having sort of a personal crisis. And one thing that is often true and relevant for both women is that he doesn’t exactly love himself or his lot in life at one point in time. He may be looking back and understanding things more clearly right now, but, at this time, the mistake is already made. Things are often so much more clear when you are looking back on them instead of experiencing them in the present.

But knowing these things don’t really answer your questions. Hopefully, what I have to tell you may shed some light on all of this. I hear from so many men who ask for my advice on making their wives believe that they are truly sorry and that they want their old lives back. They pour out their hearts in emails and comments. So, I can share with you the insights that their words often convey, whether they realize it or not. I’ll do this in the following article.

How Men Are Able To Compartmentalize And Have An Affair In The Way That Many Women Never Could: One large reason that wives can not understand a husband’s thinking when he cheated is that we do not even come close to thinking in the same way. Very few of us can possibly understand physical transgressions that have very little to do with emotion because to most of us, the emotion has to be present for the physical to come forth.

This is not always the case with men. They are very often able to separate the two. And, as weird as it sounds, it’s often their emotional ties to you that keeps them from sharing the doubts and insecurities that lead up to the affair anyway. Often when he’s struggling, he’s reluctant to share his self doubt and lagging self esteem with us because he does not want to feel vulnerable or to appear weak.

So instead, he will act on things that he hopes will make him feel better about himself. Often at that time, he doesn’t realize that this is only a quick fix that is only going to makes things devastatingly worse. He’s not thinking about this in the way that we would. And, it’s often when he realizes just how huge a mistake he’s made that it suddenly hits him that he may well have shattered what he holds most dear.

So many men tell me that not only do they “not know what they were thinking” when they cheated, they often have to admit that they weren’t thinking at all. And often now, they are trying to over think things. They want their lives back and they want everything fixed quickly. While they do understand that you’re hurt and struggling, they are frustrated that you don’t understand that their feelings for you never changed.

And, I can not stress enough that many men insist to me that they never stopped loving their wife. They seem to be completely sincere in this and they completely believe what they are saying. While they sometimes understand why you have a hard time believing their claims, this doesn’t make them believe the validity of their feelings any less.

Deciding Whether Or Not To Allow Your Husband To Prove That He Still Loves You After The Affair: Often when wives tell me that they aren’t sure if their husbands still really love them, I tell them that they really do have three choices. You can either reject this altogether, you take this onto faith (which is often impossible as he’s already lied to and betrayed you,) or you can decide if you want to give him the chance to prove it to you or not.

I understand being reluctant to do this. You’re afraid that he’s going to cheat on or hurt you again. So, if you have to be hurt, you want to make sure that this only happens once. And you don’t want to waste a lot of time and emotional energy if this is the end anyway. I don’t know your situation. But, I have been in a similar situation and I’ve seen countless others go through it. You often have to take his past behavior and performance as a husband into account and then ask yourself if, considering this, you are better off taking a chance with him rather than closing the door without him. Only you can decide this.

But, if you do decide that you don’t want to close the door, nothing says that you have to believe his assertions just because he says them. You can make it very clear that while you’re willing to listen to what he has to say and wait and see how this all turns out, you’re going to be basing your belief system on his actions and behaviors from here on out.

If he really does still love you, his wife, then this will become obvious over time. He will hang in there, and will offer you reassurance, understanding, and patience. He will find out what you need and he will provide it. And, he will work with you to strengthen your relationship and to create a new one in which you’re both secure and happy. If you present this to him and he’s still on board, nothing says that you can’t watch and wait and allow for him to prove this to you.

I struggled greatly with believing my husband’s claims after his affair, but I eventually decided to let him prove what he was saying to me. I’m glad I did. Although I never would’ve believed this two years ago, my marriage is stronger than ever after my husband’s affair. It took a lot of work, and I had to play the game to win, but it was worth it. Because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is at an all time high. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again. You can read a very personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/.

Retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/if-he-cheated-does-it-mean-he-doesnt-love-his-wife-3527892.html”

(ArticlesBase SC #3527892)

Katie Lersch -
About the Author:

Katie Lersch writes articles about moving past an affair. Her corresponding blog is at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

]]>

Questions and Answers

Ask our experts your Infidelity related questions here…

My wife has been in an adultress relationship for the past 5 months. She is still in our home with our 6 children. She is in love with this other man. I love my wife dearly. I feel helpless. HELP Me
I read about husband wife relation in islam from various sources and found 1 thing i am doubtfull about and dont understand. during sex total nudity is not allowed. wat does this mean?
In chorus my folder accidently droped on the floor and i was too far up to reach it and i asked him to pick it up for me plz. and he said “id love to for you”.does this means he likes me?

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if men cheat can they love their wives, do men who cheat love their wives, he cheated on me can he still love me, if he cheated does it mean that he doesnt love me, if a man cheats does it mean he doesnt love you, if a man cheats what does it mean love

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I Cheated On My Wife, How Can I Convince Her I Love Her? Here Are 3 Sure Fire Ways

admin — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 20:48:38 +0000

I Cheated On My Wife, How Can I Convince Her I Love Her? Here Are 3 Sure Fire Ways

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I Cheated On My Wife, How Can I Convince Her I Love Her? Here Are 3 Sure Fire Ways

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Having helped hundreds of people catch their spouses cheating, I can tell you that very few relationships ever fully recover from infidelity. Here are 3 things you can do to save your marriage after an affair.

Listen, I know that you feel awful. I get it. Unfortunately, what’s done is done, and since you can’t go back and change time, you’re only hope is to try and figure out a way to save your relationship.

What I mean by that is there’s no sense dwelling on the past. You should focus entirely on what lies ahead. You’re already one step in the right direction simply by being here, reading this article.

Here are 3 things you HAVE to do before your marriage can recover:

Be Totally Honest About Everything

What’s that? You didn’t hear me? Be totally honest about what?

EVERYTHING!

You need to always keep in mind that you’re the one that’s cheated here. Under no circumstances should you even entertain the notion of lying to your spouse.

Not even about the way your tie your shoes, or how often you brush your teeth.

I know that many times lies seem trivial, or you think that it’s for your spouse’s own good that they don’t know everything…Recognize right now how deluded that is.

I’ll only say this one time…From here on out, if your spouse even SMELLS a lie, chances are you’ll have ruined any chance at healing your relationship.

Spend Quality Time with Your Spouse

One of the best ways that you can communicate how much you care is by actually devoting time to recovering what your relationship once was.

The more time you spend with your wife the more she’s going to believe that you’re being sincere in your attempts to repent for cheating.

And hey, don’t just spend time with them! Be nice! Do nice things! Give your wife an incentive to believe you…Make her WANT to spend time with you.

How? Just by being nice!

Open Up to Professional Help…If She Wants it

Many women automatically assume that their husbands won’t even consider professional help. You can do something really significant by extending the offer to seek professional help.

This might be sort of an awkward thing to talk about with your wife, and if it is, I understand. But you need to push through that awkwardness and make sure she knows that you’ve got nothing to hide, from either her or a counselor.

If you think your wife would be totally opposed to counseling, you can still ask. Just make sure you frame your question appropriately. Make it clear that you’re in no way pressuring them, but that if THEY would like it you’d be happy to see a counselor with them.

You’d be surprised how much that means to many women. It shows true penance.

Generally, most fully healed relationships follow the same path to get there. Basically it boils down to these 3 separate phases:

1. Heal Yourself

2. Heal the Relationship

3. Heal the Marriage

By learning more about each phase, and where you stand within them, you can really improve your chances of saving your marriage after an affair.

Retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/i-cheated-on-my-wife-how-can-i-convince-her-i-love-her-here-are-3-sure-fire-ways-3901653.html”

(ArticlesBase SC #3901653)

Jack R. Mcladdel -
About the Author:

Start with this: 3 Phase Affair Recovery Formula

And then read more here:

Help! I Cheated On My Wife!!

Either way, thanks for reading!

]]>

Questions and Answers

Ask our experts your Infidelity related questions here…

What are the signs of a cheating wife ?
My wife has been in an adultress relationship for the past 5 months. She is still in our home with our 6 children. She is in love with this other man. I love my wife dearly. I feel helpless. HELP Me
Why do we love to judge everything? Why can’t we just live and accept whatever life brings us? Why can’t we see the world the way it is, not the way we’d like it to be?

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Article Tags:
i cheated on my wife, i cheated, cheated on wife, having an affair

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Jack R. Mcladdel has 76 articles online

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How Can I Save My Marriage When My Husband Thinks He’s In Love With The Woman He’s Cheating With?

admin — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 04:57:16 +0000

How Can I Save My Marriage When My Husband Thinks He’s In Love With The Woman He’s Cheating With?

How Can I Save My Marriage When My Husband Thinks He’s In Love With The Woman He’s Cheating With?

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Home Page > Relationships > Infidelity > How Can I Save My Marriage When My Husband Thinks He’s In Love With The Woman He’s Cheating With?

How Can I Save My Marriage When My Husband Thinks He’s In Love With The Woman He’s Cheating With?

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Posted: Oct 06, 2010 |Comments: 0
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It’s often not easy to decide that you want to save your marriage following an affair. There is usually a lot of back and forth thoughts and doubt before you finally decide that you’re going to allow yourself to be vulnerable in an attempt to save this marriage. This process is hard enough when you have a remorseful spouse who is promising you that he’s going to make this up to you and be the spouse that you deserve from here on out.

However, this process is much different when the cheating spouse has to admit that he loves both you and the other person. I had a wife contact me last week with this same situation. Her husband insisted that he loved her and was committed to their family and wanted to save the marriage. However, they had also vowed to be completely honest with one another. And, to that end, the husband was honest in admitting that he still loved this other woman.

Of course, the wife was beside herself over this. How could she get him to focus on her and their marriage when he was still in love with this other person? And, how could her husband love both at them at one time? Should she give him an ultimatum or tell him to get back with her once this other woman was gone? I will try to answer these questions in the following article.

Saving Your Marriage When You Spouse Admits They Love Someone Else: Let me state upfront that this is a very difficult situation on so many levels. On one side, you do have to acknowledge that the husband is just trying to be completely forthcoming and honest, as the wife had insisted that he do from now on. However, this is putting the wife in a completely no win situation. It’s just not logical to think that she can go all in toward saving her marriage when she is competing in a fantasy world. In a sense, she can not win against this woman as it is set up now.

The husband is comparing an adult wife and mother who is juggling a career, a family, and a home. Contrast this relationship with the one with the other woman – there were no responsibilities or demands. That relationship was just focused on pleasure and having fun. This woman never had to see or wash his dirty laundry, see him when he was less than lovable, or try to still appear alluring after being up all night with a sick child.

This is just unfair and unrealistic. The wife could not win and therefore (at least in my opinion) should not compete. It was selfish and wrong of the husband to ask the wife to try to save the marriage when he had not yet let go of the other person. Admittedly, the husband could not turn his feelings off and on with the snap of his fingers (it would be so great and so much easier if he could,) but this did not mean that he could not make an adult decision to remove himself from his situation because he deemed his marriage more important than this other person.

Getting Your Spouse To Remove Themselves From The Person That They’ve Been Cheating With: In my mind, there was no wiggle room with this. The other woman needed to be gone before they could really have a chance to work things out or to save the marriage. The husband was pretty clear that he was not at this point yet. OK then, he could check back in with the wife when he reached that point. Until then, they were in a holding or waiting period.

Having the wife compete with this other woman was just a no win situation and it was not fair. I told the wife that she should tell her husband that she was unwilling to work on a relationship of three. She needed for there only to be a relationship of two. Of course, this terrified her. She was afraid that the husband was going to chose the other woman since the wife was not “in the game” or around to remind him of his family.

Yes, this might be a risk. But, you need to force his hand here. If he is not nudged toward giving up this woman, then he might never do it. The wife asked if maybe she should give a firm ultimatum or try to pay hardball and demand that the husband “had better get rid of this woman.” I did not feel that this was the best stance either. I’ve seen it go wrong too many times.

What will typically happen here is that the husband will reluctantly let the other woman go. But, because she is “forbidden” he will build her up into the great love of his life that he can’t have. Of course, this is going to make her even more desirable in his mind. Forbidden fruit taste sweeter, or so he may think.

It’s far better to let this eventually be his choice. Statistics show us that, when allowed to run it’s course, an affair will often die a slow death as both parties one day look at each other and realize that the novelty has worn off. The wife would be putting herself in a much better and much more desirable position if she would just matter-of-factly tell him that she would consider saving the marriage when he could give her his fidelity and commitment.

In the meantime though, she was going to live her life, surround herself with people who loved her, and pamper herself with things and experiences that she loved. Sure, a bit of acting is involved here. But, look at what’s happened. The wife has now become the forbidden fruit. So therefore, she’s going to eventually appear much more alluring and when this happens, she’s now in a position of strength.

I know that making these demands seem risky, but in my experience, you must. You must put yourself on a level playing field. I have seen this work countless times. Although I never would’ve believed this two years ago, my marriage is stronger than ever after my husband’s affair. It took a lot of work, and I had to play the game to win, but it was worth it. Because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is at an all time high. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again. You can read a very personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

Retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/how-can-i-save-my-marriage-when-my-husband-thinks-hes-in-love-with-the-woman-hes-cheating-with-3417195.html”

(ArticlesBase SC #3417195)

Katie Lersch -
About the Author:

Katie Lersch writes articles about moving past an affair. Her corresponding blog is at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

]]>

Questions and Answers

Ask our experts your Infidelity related questions here…

I want to lead a life with my husband…i love him more…but he is asking for divorce….please tell me how to save my marriage life with him?
I need to how how I can get my husband to fall in love with me again
What do mormons think of big love ?

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Essentially, her husband was telling her that in fact, he was in love with his mistress. But, because he loved his children and didn’t want to lose his family, he was going to “work with” the wife to save the marriage. He promised to try his best to fall back in love with her as soon as possible. The wife was actually asking for my advice as to what she could do to make her husband love her again.

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He Says His Affair And Cheating Doesn’t Change His Love For Me

admin — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 14:18:54 +0000

He Says His Affair And Cheating Doesn’t Change His Love For Me

He Says His Affair And Cheating Doesn’t Change His Love For Me

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Home Page > Relationships > Infidelity > He Says His Affair And Cheating Doesn’t Change His Love For Me

He Says His Affair And Cheating Doesn’t Change His Love For Me

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Posted: Dec 30, 2010 |Comments: 0
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I recently heard from a woman who said that her husband had admitted to a short term affair and was begging for her forgiveness. The husband swore that he wanted to save the marriage and would “do anything” to make this up to the wife. The wife’s first instinct was that she did not want a divorce, but she was still struggling. When she asked her husband what she did wrong that contributed to him cheating, he swore that the cheating didn’t have anything to do with her or the marriage. He insisted that he had never stopped loving her.

This situation is actually very common and I get correspondence like this quite a bit. Men are often able to separate one type of relationship from another in a way that women rarely can. And, many men will sincerely tell you that their cheating has much more to do with them than it has to do with you. I will discuss this more in the following article.

A Look Into A Man’s Thought Process When He Cheats On The Woman He Loves: Before I go any further, I have to stress that by no means am I defending cheating or dishonest behavior. I’ve had a spouse cheat on me and I know how painful this is. I would never try to diminish a cheater’s responsibility for his or her own actions. However, since I’ve begun extensively researching this topic, I’ve come across different perspectives from the men involved. They are often more honest with me than they are with their wives because they know that there will be no fall out from what they tell me.

Many admit vulnerabilities, self esteem issues, and doubts that they would not want to share with their wives. In essence, they feel like they are falling short in some way. Perhaps they are aging. Maybe they are dealing with some insecurities with their job or with their ability to provide for their family. Maybe they are allowing low self esteem to contribute to unnecessary risk or undesirable behaviors. But, the common denominator is that they often feel badly about themselves and not their wives.

When I explain this to wives, I’ll often hear responses like “well why didn’t he share this with me? I would have gone to counseling with him or would’ve done what whatever we needed to do.” The answer often lies in the fact that a man will often want to take the easy and secret way out. Sharing his feelings, being vulnerable, and opening himself up to controversy or discovery is often something he will resist as much as he resists counseling.

This doesn’t make his actions right or even less painful. But I am sharing this with you because I want to help you understand his thought process. And, I want to show that often his feelings or even his thoughts about you don’t always enter into the equation. Women often tell me that they aren’t sure if this makes things better or worse. I can’t address this for you, but I can tell you that I do believe that in some circumstances, men are being honest when they claim that they never stopped loving you. But, they have often stopped loving themselves and they certainly aren’t caring for what in their (or your) best interest.

He Will Often Demonstrate His Love For You After The Affair With His Actions: Wives often ask me if they should believe their husband’s claims that he still loves them after he cheated. I often respond that his actions are much easier to evaluate than his words. People can and will make all sorts of claims, especially when something they value is at risk.

But, often it’s their actions, and not their words, that will tell you their true feelings and intentions. A man who never stopped loving his wife will take responsibility for his actions and will do whatever he can to help her to heal. He will be patient and kind. He will answer her questions without excuses or accusations. He will give her reassurance and affection and will support her in rebuilding the trust and in restoring her self esteem.

In short, he wants what is best for her – even if she ultimately decides that this does not include him. Yes, it may take your husband a while to get to this place and you may have to nudge or help him to get there. But a man who never stopped loving you will usually show you this over time in the way that he acts rather than by what he says.

I was the cheated on, not the cheater in my relationship. So, I know exactly how the “cheated on” spouse feels. And, it’s hard for me to understand the thought process of those who cheat. But, I also know that healing and moving on is possible. Although I never would’ve believed this two years ago, my marriage is stronger than ever after my husband’s affair. It took a lot of work, but it was worth it. Because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is at an all time high. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again. You can read a very personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

Retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/he-says-his-affair-and-cheating-doesnt-change-his-love-for-me-3943386.html”

(ArticlesBase SC #3943386)

Katie Lersch -
About the Author:

Katie Lersch writes articles about moving past an affair. Her corresponding blog is at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

]]>

Questions and Answers

Ask our experts your Infidelity related questions here…

I am unhappy married woman and now in love with my best friend of five years and also married. He enterrupts me everytime when talking about my fears and doesnt want to end the affair
I met this guy we feel in love at first site but then he told me he had a girlfriend and he didn’t cheat but he was really interested in getting to know me what do I do they say once a cheater always!
I have been having a small love affair with a scorpio man. We get on very well thru wit and click well. porb. affection only happens if he allows it. hardly any cuddling or much intamacy. This normal?

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I hear from wives who ask the same question, but for different reasons. I’ll hear comments like “my husband is assuring me that the other woman meant absolutely nothing to him. First of all, I am not sure if I believe this. He sure put a lot of time and effort into hiding and participating in something that he’s now claiming meant nothing. And, honestly, this claim doesn’t make things better for me.”

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How to Make Your Wife Stop Her Affair and Fall In Love With You Again With 3 Secret Tips

admin — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 07:49:40 +0000

How to Make Your Wife Stop Her Affair and Fall In Love With You Again With 3 Secret Tips

How to Make Your Wife Stop Her Affair and Fall In Love With You Again With 3 Secret Tips

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Home Page > Relationships > Infidelity > How to Make Your Wife Stop Her Affair and Fall In Love With You Again With 3 Secret Tips

How to Make Your Wife Stop Her Affair and Fall In Love With You Again With 3 Secret Tips

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Has your wife fallen completely out of love with you?

Do you fear that she’s fallen so out of love that she’s decided to have an affair and cheat on you behind you back?

If you’re tired of the pain and depression that go hand in hand with dealing with infidelity, then this article is for you. As you continue reading you’ll be learning how you can get your wife to fall back in love with you and make sure that she NEVER cheats on you again.

Sound good? Let’s get started.

3 Steps To Make Fall Back in Love With You

If you want your wife back, then you’re going to have to follow some of these critical tips. These are tried and true methods of relationship recovery, and they’re gonna be your best bet for getting her back.

#1. Acknowledge Her Presence and Importance to the Marriage

Many women (and men) have affairs because they no longer feel needed in their respective relationships. Basically, over time the marriage becomes stagnant, and stagnancy leads to problems in any relationship.

What you should do is make a point of communicating to your wife that you love her and that she’s an integral part of the marriage. The more you can convince her that she’s needed (both with your words AND your actions), the more likely she is to come back.

#2. Involve Her in Your Future

One of the best ways of getting your wife involved with you instead of another man is to subconsciously hint that she’s important in your life.

How do you do that?

Well, one great way is to ask her for input when you’re making plans for the future. Maybe ask her about her weekend plans and what you guys should do together. You could plan a vacation together. Do anything that gives you as a couple something to look forward to and work on together.

#3. Don’t Forget Common Interests

Remember back when you were in the dating game?

Think about what it was like being a single guy for a moment…

My guess is that you’ll recall a little dating vocab. word known as ‘common interests’? My guess is that you and your wife had a lot of those when you first started dating, as most married couples did.

So, try and think about what things you and your wife used to have in common. Think about what she likes and what you like…Now all you have to do is remind her of everything you’re thinking about right now.

It’s really easy when you put it like that, right?

Still No Luck? Here’s How to Make Her Stop Cheating For Good:

My guess is that you’ve still got a question or two about what to do from here. I’m willing to bet that you’re not really sure whether or not you can get your wife to come back to you or not.

Don’t worry! This is normal…What you’re about to do will be both difficult and time consuming, but trust me when I say it’s worth it.

Fortunately, I can help you get through this process. I have a couple suggestions:

Retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/how-to-make-your-wife-stop-her-affair-and-fall-in-love-with-you-again-with-3-secret-tips-4190129.html”

(ArticlesBase SC #4190129)

Jack R. Mcladdel -
About the Author:

If you’re tired of wondering when your wife is going to stop fooling around and start loving you again, then it’s time to take action! Stop sitting around moping, and actually start working towards saving your marriage!

Start here:

Tired of Wondering Who Your Wife is With? How to Make Her Stop Cheating

Alternatively, if you’d rather learn about how to save your marriage after you’ve caught her cheating, and how you can rebuild trust AND hope, then you’ll really like this…

Check out this Free Report:

How to Save Your Marriage in 3 Steps

Either way you choose, Thanks for reading!

And good luck!

]]>

Questions and Answers

Ask our experts your Infidelity related questions here…

Do men fall in love at first sight ?
Do men fall in love harder than women ?
Do men fall in love faster than women ?

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I Love My Wife – Why Did I Cheat On Her?

admin — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 11:54:53 +0000

I Love My Wife – Why Did I Cheat On Her?

I Love My Wife â Why Did I Cheat On Her?

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I Love My Wife â Why Did I Cheat On Her?

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You love your wife. How on earth could you even think about cheating on her? You have probably been asking yourself this question over and over again since the moment it happened. The problem is you aren’t any closer to having an answer for your question than when you first asked. Cheating has little to do with love when it comes right down to it.

To the person you cheated on it might seem as though it has everything to do with love but for you, love was the last thing on your mind when you cheated. So, what were you thinking?

You know that answer to that question more than anyone else. Think back. What was going through your head when you decided that you were going to do the deed with some woman other than your wife?

Flattery

Did you feel flattered? Many men find the attention of another woman to be extremely flattering. It’s an ego boost like no other. How long has it been since your wife has stroked your ego and made you feel like you were the sexiest hunk of man on the planet? Has it really been that long? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s your wife’s fault and I’m not saying that cheating is OK. I’m just trying to help you figure out why you cheated.

No Strings

Do you feel like you’re handed a “honey do” list every time you walk through the door of your house?Â Many men do. The other woman promises sex without the strings or the “down side” that goes along with long-term relationships.

Marriage is about working together. Sometimes it feels like your wife expects you to do all the work. You know, that she’s doing work too but sometimes you just wish she wasn’t always riding you about what she thinks you need to be doing. It’s a liberating kind of sex but there is something missing with this kind of sex â especially if you love your wife.

The Heat of the Moment

Has your sexual routine at home become routine? Are you lacking a lot of the heat that was simmering just below the surface when you first married your wife?

The other woman promises something spontaneous and new. That is something you’ve been missing with the woman you love. It doesn’t make you love your wife any less it just kind of wipes all thoughts about anything other than the here and now off your mind.

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TW Jackson -
About the Author:

Don’t think you’ll be able to win your wife back now that she knows about your affair? You can get your wife back. Now that you know why you cheated despite your love for your wife here’s what you need to do to win her back: http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/just_break_up3.html.

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Questions and Answers

Ask our experts your Marriage related questions here…

My wife has been in an adultress relationship for the past 5 months. She is still in our home with our 6 children. She is in love with this other man. I love my wife dearly. I feel helpless. HELP Me
I never want to get very intimate with my love but always i forget my oath and kiss her on those places where we dont want before marriage , now i am in great depression for what i did please sb help
What are the signs of a cheating wife ?

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